The importance of forgiveness
The other day I was speaking to someone who talked about what a friend of theirs had done in the past and it was clear they hadn’t managed to proceed from what had happened. A number of years had passed since that moment, but it was as if it had happened the day before.
Hearing about this reminded me of the challenges I’ve had with my mother, and how hard it’s been for me to slowly proceed from what took place during my early years. It was irrelevant as to how many years had passed since that moment, as I was not able to simple let go and to live in the now.
During the beginning of my recovery journey, my mind was often consumed by what my mother had or had not done. This then stopped me from having the ability to detach from what was taking place within me.
I was frequently filled with anger, anger, and even despise; part of me wanted revenge. And, due to how powerful this part of me was, it would take over my entire being and prevent me from having the ability to be a conscious human being.
But, although I had all this going on within me, I rarely voiced what was taking place. I was carrying a lot of trauma, which meant that I felt secure enough to express my feelings.
Along with this, I was told as a child not to get mad and that it was wrong. If I did express my anger, I may have been told off or hit, and this was the last thing that I wanted to experience.
Hooked Nevertheless, when I did get in touch with how I felt, I would feel strong and alive, making it difficult for me to see how destructive this was.
It slowly became clear that this was doing me more harm than good, and this was primarily because it had been perpetuating what I was through as a kid. The only way I would have the ability to grow and to live in the moment was to let go.
A Tough Process
I would often be told that I”just needed to let go” and writing a letter and then burning it might help, amongst other things. It was then like this was a very simple process, if I was ready to go through with it.
As time passed it became increasingly obvious that this wasn’t a mental process or something which would only happen; it was something that would taken place through confronting how I felt and processing my pain.
At The Core
I came to find that the pain in my body was keeping the past alive and preventing me from having the ability to live at the moment. This pain had also caused me to close my heart and this made it difficult for me to experience empathy.
I ended up using a lot of different therapists and healers, and I had a good deal of crying to do. The crying let me give up a lot of the pain that I experienced as a kid. Yet, through being conscious of the damage that is being done, it will be clear how important it is to let go.
Finally, holding on only prolongs our own suffering; it doesn’t affect the person who was involved. So, if you’re holding onto what happened in the past and you want to proceed, reach out for the right support.